How Snow White Got Her Name

Discussion in 'The Bodyguard's Scribbles' started by The Bodyguard, Dec 27, 2018.

  1. The Bodyguard Pretty Spiffy [________] Humorist

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    When Princess Clarabella Hildegard Rhubarb of Lower Greater Sex-Burgundy arrived at their house, the seven dwarves gladly took her in and hid her from her evil step-mother and keeper of the werewolves. That was on the first day of spring.

    By late summer she had put on weight, eating twice what Sleepy and Droopy did together. There was also that annoying song she sang, the only one she knew, while she kept all the doors and windows open for the forest birds and small animals to wander in and out while she did a modicum of work around the house.

    And it seemed the evil step-mother had called off her werewolves and no longer gave a fig, let alone a poisoned apple, about the whereabouts of the Princess.

    During all this time the dwarves were perfect gentlemen around her, never bothering her or watching from hiding when she took long baths, let alone looking up her skirt. They left each morning singing about going off to work at the sawmill. But she did not hear their grumbling at the sandwiches she packed in their lunchboxes.

    "Liverwurst with sprinkles, that's forty-five days in a row." "Banana and sardine." "Parsley puree." "Horseradish and Kiwi fruit. The price of shipping Kiwi Fruit alone would set us fine for a whole month."

    Yes, they were growing dissatisfied with the beautiful, bountiful, and sweet darling sitting in their house reading French fairy tales rather than German! Let alone not sleeping with any of them.

    As the winds of November rolled in the first light snowfalls the dwarves were both exasperated and excited. Exasperated because the mill would shut down except for any last minute Christmas toy orders from a guy up in Lappland. But also excited because they had built a flume from the top of the nearest hill down to their house. Usually it brought down rain water. Now frozen over it made for a fun sled run.

    And so it happened that one bleak winter night while she was toasting her toes before the fireplace that Morris (not all were named after their attributes) suggested she do a striptease for them.

    She thought it funny and stood up and teasingly withdrew the ribbon from her bobbed hair style.

    That did it. The seven were on her, undressing her, typing her spread eagle on the floor with her toes at each edge of the fireplace. Gagged with her ribbon she felt their hands all over her.

    As stimulating as that might be her toes were beginning to actually toast. She began to struggle. Dortmunder, the barber, began to trim and shave the names of six of them onto her head. Then moving to her thick Bavarian bush (not the beer) he carved out "Dortmunder was here". They all laughed and let her lie there all night.

    In the morning she was contrite and owned up to all the mistakes she had made and all the bad behaviour she had shown to her roommates.

    They too were ashamed of what they had done, especially to a Princess. But the sun was out just enough not to melt the snow so they all trudged up the hill to the top of the ice covered flume.

    "You know, maybe you should put up rope along the side of the path that can haul each of you up

    the hill, maybe on revolving spools and up high to avoid the snow." She said, shivering in her still naked state of glorious feminine bodywork.

    They said it was a good idea, but because they had never thought of it themselves they had to teach her a lesson.

    Thus it was that the Princess found herself face down, facing down the flume, arms crossed on her back, as each dwarf patted her behind at the starting gate. Soon she was sweeping down thru the hairpin corners, high up on the edge but then down in the straightaways. She finished with her nose up against the trough's pump handle.

    That was a test run of course. She was dragged by her legs back up to the top where each dwarf sat on her rump and rode her as far down the run as possible.
    Six of the dwarves did not make it to the bottom, falling off, mostly in the corners. But the seventh, Helmut, or Sleepy if you wish, took his place on the Princess, then mated with her to keep from falling off. Some thought this was a violation of the rules, but they hadn't decided on proper rules anyway. So off the Princess slid, gathering speed with Sleepy lying on her back, happy in several ways.
    Unfortunately, he did not make it to the bottom, having a very quick dislodgment on the first bump in the run.

    The six helped him down to the house and there they found the Princess lying with her nose stuck to the frozen pump handle. And an odd track of frozen something upon her superb but cold ass.

    Yes, that's when she got her new name.

    Well, this story is done. Before Snowy took her rightful place upon her husband's throne, she had stayed on with the dwarves, bedding one for each day of the week. She helped build the conveyor system to the top of the hill, and other specialized gym sets for her to be engaged upon, in, or other.

    You'll have to excuse me as her great great great grand daughter is about to show off her beautiful, bountiful, bound feminine workmanship on the new ski jump. Oh, here she comes down, coming and screaming at the takeoff for a perfect 70 meter two nip point landing.
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  2. Punkae Artist, Writer, and Sleepless Tea Addict ♥ [_____________] Author [Varied-Genre] aesthetic

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    I had a pretty good giggle at this. Great sense of humor and wonderful writing as always!
  3. Kevlar31 Disaster of biblical proportions! [__________] ✩ Gallery Moderator ✩

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    Well done, my good man!
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